不想一路走來珍惜的回憶沒有你

20070731

long week of tiredness and overloading has ALMOST passed..
ge yao please be over ASAP!!! >.<
of cos life in hwachong doesn't really allow ppl to rest a lot.
i hate the dark eye rings under my eyes.. they r so disgusting
but apparently i cant remove them with my avg sleeping hours of 5/6
finished printing half of the posters for geyao.
rest of the posters and tickets have been sent for printing
now supposed 2 design program booklet and 2 more posters
n if im not wrong.. im gg 2 do them all alone again.. =.=
i understand tt ppl are busy w stuff. n actually its a choice to be busy.
cos theres still a choice to HECK care.. but well.. haha
this choice is FORBIDDEN...
so instead of complaining about busy or feeling guilty n stuff
why dont just settle down n do some good work?
similarly, i also understand tt ignorance is bliss..
esp when u dunno how 2 use photoshop as a xc member..
xc stuff r making me more cynical by the day..
Block Test results:
GP: C
Math: B
Chem: A
Bio: S
Econs: D
n in total its a A B C D S.. well alot ppl say its not bad.. but i guess its rather ok
at least i didn't get a U! hurray n i kinda spent my june hols meaningfully
instead of mugging n mugging n mugging
yesterday chiong EoM and i finished in 2 hrs!
im kinda proud of myself cos j.ang said it was rather good!
haha but the organization part still got some problems though
recently watched a hk drama 强剑
seriously i like the front parts a lot as they r funny n not corny
BUT i don't like the ending and the end parts were corny...
the corny stuff let me had a good laugh though. hahas
currently looking at pictures
v nice pictures which r so my style haha
n i realized looking at pictures can make me feel relaxed too! (:
have been sleeping a lot during lectures
and thats where my fringe came to use.. to cover my eyes.
slept thru econs lecture today.. i hate the lecturer's accent
she makes me irritated.
slept thru math lecture yesterday.. well cos its mdm yeo
and she only went thru 3,4 pages in 1hr. brilliant.
sunday was nice cos i met up w sylvia n xinyi again!
although it was for the cause of studying chem..
we didn't really study a lot but cleared quite a lot of misconceptions
well done! (:
ok thats for now. i shall go enjoy looking at nice nice pictures!

20070717

suddenly, i feel like air. cliche, just like air is there, you need it, but you will never feel it. u have taken it for granted.. hahas.
sudden realization today that.. when ppl need me, most of the time, i am there. however, when i need ppl, most of the time, they are NOT there. i am always alone, solving my problems myself.
to other ppl, i do look quite strong (in the heart), cheery, optimistic and what so ever. somehow, to me that seems to be a false front i have been putting up. sometimes i also need ppl to support me, to help me n to cheer me up, but as i have said ppl wont be there. hahas, me and my pathetic life.
almost cried today hahas when the sudden feeling of ALONE got into me. but again, i forced myself not to think about it, its only for a moment. it failed, cos the more i force myself not to think about it, the more it gets into me. hahas, life is an irony like it always have been. crying dun solve any problems jus like suiciding. its just a way of venting n let ur brain be free of certain thoughts..
CCA has been killing my life. haha why did i run for zuzhang? i even have the thought tt if i want to QUIT zuzhang.. but i will hate the name of “irresponsible". its not that i dun like to do xc stuff, but i HATE overloading and the feeling of "i'm in this ALL ALONE" which is to a certain extent true.
SOME ppl also have been fucking irritating, irritating the shit out of me. some bastard ate a hot dog, n dropped it on my bag, and the worst is he doesn't even have the MORAL to clean it up at least a little bit. n now wonderful, my new white bag has a faint chilli stain.. dun think i dunno who u are, apparently I KNOW. bloody fucking toad.
if someday i changed into someone tt i dun even recognize myself, im sorry but please blame the people around me. they forced me into it... i have no wish to return what i was before a very long time ago... everyone needs a certain day to jus complain and grumble about life, looks like today is my day. and after today i will return to the "normal" self. i m falling into the whirlpool but i still cant find my buoy..
currently, i think my only battery is him. hahas yeah i know he can be considered as virtual, cos maybe in my whole life i wont see him in real. but maybe precisely cos he is "not real", he will never make me sad. （：

20070705

actually.. my blog can be considered DEAD like really DEAD...
no1 comes n visit n i dun even blog myself. so yeah DEAD blog.
3 months nvr blog i shd hav quite alot of stuff to say n yes i do.
blocks, cca n etc etc
and.. if i hav the sudden inspiration..
im gonna change my blog skin..
ppl who know me well u all can expect whose face will start appearing... XD

BLOCKS (since its the most recent)
Econs: paper1 kinda screwed, not expecting much anw, paper 2 was kind of okay but my handwriting.. hmm i wonder if those worms really came out of my hand... all the memorising did help but i still 4got some... *smacks brain*
GP: paper i fear most yet the paper tt i cant do anything about it cos its too.. ahh u know wad i mean. compre sucks.. lack of time n as usual the handwriting goes... =.=
Math: haha anw i got it back a 62, some ppl say tts v good, but i know some of them of cos were being sarcastic.. i know them too well.. hahas. well i was aiming for higher.. since i was too careless, i can only blame myself right?
Chem: to alot ppl -- SCREWED. some of them of cos doesnt really mean tt considering HWACHONG, how bad can it get la? to me it was ok.. i find it do-able, it was not killer jus tt some qns r pure IRRITATING. but if its irritating, i wld jus give up n life goes on u see..
Bio: lack of time, a few qns were either crap or blank. essay is crapping shit.. but im still happy cos its the last paper n i totally needed sleep cos i only slept for 3 hours the prev night, how power can i get n i even went to work until 1130 w/o napping.. haha im zai pls..

CCA
nothing 2 say jus tt im happy tt i become the zuzhang.. n i wonder if i made the right choice... i seem to haven given up my free life? ahh all will turn out well i believe.. huiqing was irritating, cos i seriously felt tt i was OVERLOADED as compared to the rest. tt was a little unfair but i didnt voice it out, i jus scolded vulgarities at home while doing the work assigned... my mum was kinda shocked at me, but i guess she understood why...

JUNE HOLS
holidays as usual spell working for me. but this time added in mugging for blocks... for the whole june hols i guess i went MOS burger evryday.. sitting at the same corner studying w xinyi/sylvia or working.. haha lifes a nice routine this way... maybe.. at least we did not spend our whole hols mugging.. we still got go watch movie, sleepover n just stone.. stoning can be nice too w the right ppl around (: slept at 2/3/4 for almost evryday until i buay tahan n the earliest i slept was 11/12.. lol.. was abit worried to how 2 adapt when sch reopens.. hahs.

mos burger had new crews too.. n those ppl whom i think were TOO stone were actually nice ppl. but some whom i hate i still HATE. n they continue to irritate me as much as ever.. i really feel like kicking their asses. but well was just glad tt i managed to change my perspectives of some ppl n made some really nice friends! my june hols maybe wasnt tt bad aft all.. (: (:

my new crush from may till ??? : 飞轮海 --- 炎亚纶
haha he just looks like he popped out from a comic or sth..
totally can kill la for goodness..
ok i know i sound like a da4 hua1 chi1 here but well.. heh
sometimes having someone u can fantasize about can giv u motivation to do stuff too (:
so its not tt bad la.. whee

SABBATICALS
haha reaching the mountain top. name sounds stupid i know
but actually to me the course is rather meaningful
though i fell asleep during some theory stuff
i m a high I and S.. haha
but actually when im at home or work.. i think i would have more D than I
well ppl changes under diff environment jus like me..
made new friends too ppl with similar traits like me (:
i like the games.. they make me rather high n i wld jus start screaming ==
lol pls cover your ears if u cant stand the pitch..

o anw i bought a new bag! papillos! a top! tofu keychain/hp holder! fahrenheit photo album!
haha w my pay.. bank still left 100++ inside but i know it wont b there for long..
n im planning 2 go for david/goliath spree but i will jus buy one shirt.
should try 2 save up too.. cos i may not be workin anymore aft this yr..
J2 life... A levels... someone jus kill me.. thanks..

ok tts for all im getting sleepy.. its 12.17a.m. now! byebye ppl.. (:
see you all REAL soon.. lalala