不想一路走來珍惜的回憶沒有你

20100714

work has been quite alright now.. shall try to keep one eye closed to many things. after all, only 2 weeks left of the contract only. so no point being so paranoid/bitchy/petty/whatever about things haha. should just keep the happy memories with me. and i hope i will suffer from short-term memory loss to forget all the unhappiness irregardless of whether its work or any other random things that happened. all i should remember of work are i have a very nice manager, i had a fun time working with my friends (but most probably wont want to work with them anymore) and i made many new friends too. :) shall forget about all those stupid politics etc hahaha. life would be much more relaxed that way..

anyway, some stuff happened this week too. not that this week is even half gone yet. hahaha. monday i went for tuition. haha anting gave me 30mins off cos she had nothing to ask me. lol she blamed herself for leaving her chemistry worksheet in school but her family is really ultra nice to me considering that i am just a tutor. monday was quite a sucky day cos i had headache for the whole day. dunno why also. but it was really torturing, cos i still have to make my 200 calls per day with the stupid headache. had to control myself from screaming at people.. and im totally very glad that my headache faded before my tuition! phew...
then i attempted to call kbox to make reservations.. the cine person pissed me off cos she didnt allow me to book in the morning and asked me to call back at night. and the worst was she told me the rooms are almost full. it totally didnt make sense! cos the rooms are almost full in the morning already and you want me to call back and book at night? so i had to change venue to AMK. zzz changing of venue was hectic too cos jeffrey was complaining it was too far. yah i understand that its far, but i would definitely appreciate it if you didnt whine to me about that if you realise how hard is it to find a date and time where everyone can be free. and just when everything was about to be confirmed and settled, huiying had to tell me she couldnt make it. so i just have to cancel everything, because i dunwan to face 3 stupid NS guys alone. i've decided not to go out with a bunch of NS guys alone anymore. cos im sick of NS talk!!!! all the terms that i couldnt understand.. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. and most importantly, i really want to have a outing where the 5 of us will be there and not missing anyone... and i felt so pissed off when i start getting questioned by hw why the outing was canceled. the tone of his sms was kinda crude, it was like i owe him a million dollars or something?
and thats not all, i felt even more angry when i saw hw posting photos of him going to Kbox at AMK with jinhao, leekoon and baona yesterday. and yes it was on the day that the 5 of us were supposed to go K. yay how wonderful. not that you guys cant go K with other ppl but please not on the day when you all were supposed to be going K with jeffrey, hy and me? somehow i felt that all my efforts taken to organize a K outing for the 5 of us were all washed down the drain. how nice. stupid fb messages that i put. stupid smses that i sent. stupid calls i made for reservations. and stupid websites i browsed to find suitable timing packages. yeah no one will appreciate. shall just take it as im too petty/paranoid/greedy to make myself feel better... its always easier to forgive myself anyway.
wednesday wasnt a much better day either. was organizing another outing for tianzhu, huiping and i. this date was supposed to be blocked out since last week. so tianzhu suggested K so off i went to try make reservations again... zzz. and after making calls to reserve and ensuring the prices and etc. huiping smsed to say that she is not free cos she have to go send her friend off.. YAY! HURRAY!

all of a sudden, i felt that my existence wasnt that important anymore... yeah i know its separate incidents, but then.. it will still come to me collectively. i shant organize anymore outings, they will all end up being failures anyway. no point, no point.

some things were never and will never be reciprocal...
but i think it took me quite long to understand that...

20100708

whee! so long ever since i blogged! one month plus. shall blog about FOC first, before i start on office.. lalala

FOC (21st - 24th June)
4 hectic days. but well, i made alot of new friends, and got to know some of my friends better too. cos afterall is 4 days of sticking together. aww. new friends mainly from programs, marketing and sponsors. hahaha. sponsors cos stay same room. programs cos i wholeday have to find them discuss this n that for the videos. they are like the directors of my video hahahaha. then marketing cos of asshole daidee. i know we gamble alot but well... we have nth to do... LOL.
overall, FOC quite fun la. at least it turned out to better than i thought despite all the ridiculous videos i had to do... staying up until 4am with eyes glued on computer wasnt fun. but at least i get to behave like a VIP cos of that so whatever. i can take occasional naps if i want, and i can choose to wake up later than everyone else :) hahaha! but i guess the most important takeaway was i got to learn about my own pub comm more... though not really alot of the good points..
huiqing: she is really responsible as a head of the comm.. workwise nth much that i can pick on. cos can tell that she did her best la. just that i realised her princess temper was kinda more serious than i thought it was.. so.. yupps.
sophia: just realised i couldnt really take much of her sarcasm.. or maybe i was too sensitive.. cos personally i feel that, if you cant do much to help, its either u give constructive comments or keep quiet, instead of saying that "i bet there are other ppl who can do faster or better than her (me)". no doubt that the comment is true. but you shouldnt be saying that to someone who is struggling to finish the damn video at 2,3am... and sadly, my memory is too good to forget that.. ><
grace: she is a v direct person so i kinda like talking to her. but i dont like it when she started talking to me about her boyfriend.. dunno why. cos i dun like people whose worlds evolve around their boyfriends. its like can tell that she gives in alot to her bf so much so that she feels v sad n depressed. if having a bf = losing yourself, i dunwan one. but at least grace is still doing her work n etc, which is GOOD :D
sighhs. so now i totally understand why some people are meant to be just acquaintances and not friends friends.

shall do office tmr. its almost time to sleep. lalala